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You Once Thought

I wants thought that no matter what direction I was facing it would always be north

I thought Washington DC was in Washington State

When I was a kid I thought turn signals turned on by themselves and knew where you were going1

I thought that the band was in the radio station playing when the song was being played I was in high school

When I was little, I thought all cats were girls and all dogs were boys

My birthday is on December 31st and I thought I had to wait longer than everyone else for their birthday since it was the last day of the year

I once thought that tolls were a joke. A lie made up by my parents to try and stay off the highway

I used to think that you could buy a car with 3-wheel drive OR 4-wheel drive. My dad laughed at me for a solid 5 minutes before telling me my cars not a trike and 3 wheel drive isn’t real. For 23 years I thought it was a thing

I once thought that you couldn’t drive to Alaska. You had to take a boat

As a kid, I thought the songs on the radio had the bands sing live. They would line up and take turns singing into the microphone

I once thought being a freelance designer meant I did not have to pay taxes

When I was slightly young, 20, I thought concession stands on beaches were for confession . Strange place but ok

Thanks to my dad I once thought that a “self cleaning oven” meant little creatures in overalls that were living in the oven would clean the oven with their little mops and squeegees

I thought that you got your butt crack from when the baby spanked you after you were born

I once thought that writing was just scribbling lines cause that’s what they did on Arthur

I thought all people over 40 spoke with an Italian accent

I once thought buffalo chicken was a different breed of chicken

When I was 16 and learning how to drive I believed my dad when told me that it was against the law to wear flip flops while driving

I thought “skim” milk was “skin” milk and wouldn’t drink it because I thought it had cow skin on top of it

I once thought all men were born circumcised

I once thought I could wash off my birthmark. Spent hours scrubbing it

My friend John legitimately thought old people saw in black and white until color tv was invented

I once thought the stickers on cars for marathons and half marathons (13.1) were bible verses

WINNER: If I slept on my boobs they would be flat

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