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You Never Want To Hear It On A First Date

I take Viagra

I forgot my wallet

My two passions are magic and Dungeons and dragons

He came from a rich family. He took me to his neighborhood and said … you don’t know where you are, do you??

You remind me of my sister

Oh you’re a nurse? I think I need CPR

I find you ugly and don’t want to continue this date

Childhood traumas; starting off a conversation with “my mom was a heroin addict and gave birth to me while on heroin” 

This is Really gross but I was in my twenties and this was our 1st date and this guy was like wow you look so hot .I got a load for you baby 

On one of my first dates a guy said “I love you” 20 minutes after meeting me….

That their mother is in jail because she murdered her husband

You look like you would give good birth

Your a cancer? I’m a cancer. Did you know that the same Astro signs are suppose to have the best sex

On a first date I once had a guy say “I want to suck your eyebrows” while we were making out

I haven’t masturbated or had sex in 3 months 

“Oh man, I forgot my coupon for this place.”

How do you feel about using porn during your marriage 16306360846

I carry a gun at all times!!! 

You have some nice, meaty hands 

He told me he had i.b.s. he spent the whole time in the bathroom 

After I made a joke about “well if I’m going to go broke, I might as well go broke traveling”. His response “well that’s why you need a man – to pay for your travel” Uh…no. There was no second date 

How he and his ex girlfriend rescued French bulldogs and he still goes to her place to hang with the dogs, not her 

Dude and I were walking back to our cars after our first date and he said “I’ll probably go home and masturbate and watch a movie or something”

WINNER: You have huge boobs

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