He said: “when was the last time you shaved your legs?”
Hey your furniture legs are bent out they could really hurt someone ’s toes
“You smell like a man”
Does that feel good on your areolas?” Couldn’t stop laughing!!!
It’s not what he said, it’s how he said it. He was using the voice you talk to babies with
Remind me later to order new sheets. There’s a hole in these
“Sorry, that’s my mom calling me wanting to come home” she was 31
Can I eat my sandwich?
During the sexy time, almost to climax, my ex stopped to say “hi kitten!” And pet our cat who jumped on the bed
We’re not related right?
While we were kissing, he stopped and started talking like Jabba the hut from Star Wars!
“If I were a praying mantis I would eat you right now!!” It ended immediately!
Why are their teeth marks on your head board?
Someone once said to me “I want to suck your eyebrows” during a romantic make out session in college
You kiss like my brother, killed everything for me
My friend wants to do you
My ex fiance once said to me, I wonder when my dad’s going to be home, I need to clean the house…. To our surprise his father then walked in on us
I was getting intimate with a guy who kept quoting the movie The Princess Bride
He started crying and said your body is a wonderland. And John Mayer was playing in the background
During a romantic moment, my boyfriend was kissing me and whispered, “one day I’m going to call you mom”…meaning we will have kids and refer to eachoth er as “mom and dad” but it totally didn’t come out sounding that way
Surprising thing a guy said to me during our first intimate moment together: “My mom would be so proud of me right now.”
He asked “can I ask you something” and then proceeded to try to spit on me
“Momma taught you well, didnt she…”
WINNER: You’re naughty. Then I said keeps going. Then he said you’re nasty and poor