What Does Your Significant Other Always Brag About?

They brag about having a million pairs of Okley sunglasses 

Cycling and how strong he is at cycling every single day!!! He’s one of those guys that gets into his outfits and has the expensive bike with the skinny wheels and leads the pack

My boyfriend of brags about how many dogs like him

My husband took one three-hour wine class at our local community college and now he acts like he is a world-renowned master sommelier

He brags how he can still fit in his underwear from high school…..he’s 34

My husband always talks about the horse races he ALMOST won and each and every race and how it played out

He brags about all his stupid back issues 

My wife brags about how she’s a great singer but got kicked out of church choir 

65 years ago his grandma had a story published in Readers Digest. He talks about it like it was him and that it was a Pulitzer!!

How “back in the day” he used to dance in a cage at a club in Los Angeles

My boyfriend brags about how he “notices the small things” although though I’ll constantly change decor in our house and it takes him weeks to notice, if at all

That she is 100% Italian. I am 0% 

His injuries! For example he will say don’t let the kids do that I broke my ankle when I was younger and it’s never been the same. He brings it up for every activity

My husband is from Rockford. Any time a Cheap Trick song is on the radio, my husband reminds me that his dad went to High school with one of the band members. Every single time

That it is so hard being so good at everything he has ever tried-school, basketball, driving (no accidents or tickets), dating (before me), etc 

My husband is such a braggart that his voicemail says, you’ve reached buddy Sloan Master fisherman expert trim Carpenter and badass disc golfer. Leave a message

He brags about his zombie survival kit 

My husband brags about how when he use to work at a gas station he tried every Monster drink. Dude that was 11 years ago… no one cares.. 

My wife is petit and has small boobs. She always brags about her boobs won’t sag when she is older

My husband constantly brags how many movies he’s seen over the course of a year. He keeps track in an Excel spreadsheet and writes about them on a blog (that no one reads) 

When we bought our house there were two newly planted trees in our backyard and one of them looked like it wasn’t going to make it. My husband was able to save it. So now, anytime someone comes to our house he makes sure he tells the story of how he saved the tree and look how it is almost the size of the other one that was a healthy one. It drives me crazy bananas

WINNER: Significant other always brags about how he’s never lost a toenail no mater how fast he runs and how many long distance races he’s done

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Adam Lambert