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The Best Toast You’ve Ever Had!

May the best of your past be the worst of your future!!!

“Heres to you, heres to me, and friends we’ll always be, if not F*ck you heres to me!

Here’s to nights that become mornings, and friends that become family

“Here’s to tall ships, and small ships, Here’s to all the ships on the sea! But the best ships are friendships so here’s to you and me!”

“May the roof above your head never fall in, and the friends below it never fall out.”

Toast given at my wedding- Hope your wedding dress is insured because it’s going to be lifted tonight

May you be in heaven 2 hours before the devil knows you’re dead

Our best man ended his speech, “To sex without condoms.”

Let’s live like Movie stars, party like rock stars and F*** like porn stars

If you wish good advice, consult your mother

May you never steal, lie, or cheat, but if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows, and if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life, and if you must cheat, then please cheat death because I couldn’t live a day without you. Cheers! 

Here’s to Chicago come here on vacation leave here on probation

Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or an Idiot from any direction! 

May you always have a clean shirt, a clear conscience, and enough coins in your pocket to buy a pint! 

May the winds of fortune sail you, May you sail a gentle sea. May it always be the other guy who says, ‘this drink’s on me.’ 

Here’s to Cheating, Stealing,Fighting and Drinking.. If you Cheat may you cheat death.. If you steal may you steal a woman’s heart..If you fight, may you fight for your brother or honor.. And if Drink, may you drink with me

May you have the life of a salmon….long, strong, healthy…& always have a wet mouth!! From Irish grandma

WINNER: I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy… 

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