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I Got Dumped Because…

I got dumped because I was too tall 

I got dumped bc I wouldn’t tell him who I voted for in the presidential election 

I got dumped because I’m too great. Wtf is that shit. I was so confused  

I was too cool for him he said 

I got dumped because I was too kinky for him 

Because I like the color blood red

I got dumped because he loved Star Trek and I love Star Wars. Which was fine with me because Star Wars is WAY better! 

He broke up with me because he said I smile too much. Perhaps he likes the RBF better

Because…..I had too many friends. I must not be responsible if I take so much time meeting people

I got dumped because I wouldn’t smoke pot- he did, and I didn’t care he did- but it bothered him that I didn’t

…I am addicted to wearing Carmex chapstick (cherry flavor) and he refused to make out with me bc he hated it

I got dumped because I live in a one-bedroom apartment. he said obviously you’re not doing very well if you only live in a one-bedroom apartment

I got dumped because i dyed my hair, two different colors 

His mom said I was too good for him 

I ran out of contacts and he found out I wear glasses…. said if we had kids he didn’t want bad genes passed on…

I got dumped because of my lack of appreciation for WWE wrestling and the 1997 Disney movie Hercules

She randomly opened a bible to a random page, pointed to random text and interrupted it that we should break up. Had nothing to do with relationships either

I got dumped because I have “Weird Tiny Flintstone Feet” 

During a breakup,I was told that I should write a book about being the perfect girlfriend

I got dumped in high school because she was in orchestra and i was in band 

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