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Crazy Relatives

My cousin is a cam girl and she likes to subtly “brag” about it at family gatherings

I work for my uncle joe. every customer that calls him, he HAS to tell his whole life story to. every time. it never fails. he chews with his mouth open in your face. i could go on for days with how crazy and weird he is

I have a cousin who creates go fund me accounts to attend concerts :/ 

My uncle Ed will show up 2 hours before the event, so we have to lie to him every event – that all our gatherings actually starts TWO HOURS LATER THAN IT DOES

My great grandfather had set up booby traps all over his home and then when he died at his funeral the fire alarm went off the fire department came there was no fire. We are convinced grandpa set that booby trap as well

My uncle thinks we steal his socks and underwear

My crazy grandma likes to get us all animal/cat themed gifts including a keychain with a picture of her own cat, wrapped in a piece of real rabbit fur 

My Aunt. She says she can talk to dead people

I have a crazy cousin who trys to gangster rap her lessons to her students. Shes the whitest white girl with hello kitty tattoos

My second cousin is a well known porn star and my husbands friends bring up her videos

Went grocery shopping with my uncle. Picked up a 1lb of raw ground beef. Opened it and ate the whole package while we continued to shop. Checked out with an empty container of beef and the clerk was dumbfounded 

My sister is the crazy one. When she broke up with her bc she kicked him out and packed all his belongings into garbage bags. This included $700 Gucci sh oes designer watches, limited edition athletic shoes and apparel. She drove to tent city in Chicago and donated it for the tenants there 

My dad is the crazy relative. He has a legitimate hatred for Matt Damon because of the movie “the departed” and at family functions we have to all jump on the “I hate Matt Damon” bandwagon or my dad won’t talk to us

My crazy uncle’s sit in the dark to save money on electricity and flush toilet with saved rain water

WINNER: I have an aunt who has had her gall stones made into earrings! 

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