Before I Got Married…

I became more nerdy – I willingly play dungeons & dragons with my husband.

I have to wear pants around the house WAY TOO OFTEN.

I used to be happy.

Get rid of my butterfly collection as she was scared of bugs.

Before marriage I was “Iceman” Val Kilmer (Top Gun Reference), now I’m current fat Val Kilmer.

I now strategically hide my purchases and packages when coming home to.

No reason to pay strippers ,just pay my wife to get naked.

Since marriage, I’ve changed by becoming a plumber. I’m tired of unclogging drains already! How much hair can one woman lose?

Before marriage I was a top dog that did whatever I wanted and was the king of the hill. Now I feel like a neutered chiwawa going around saying”yes master” and looking for approval that I did a good job.

I used to spend alot of time with my family and friends but after that I see my wife’s family 4 times more. 

Any sort of get together or parties past 8pm is too late for me. 

I now hide all of my good kitchen snacks or I wouldn’t get any, my husband sniffs them out like a bloodhound!

After 7 yrs married, in all forms of communication… The word ” Yay” has become a staple in my otherwise very manly vernacular.

I’ve learned that the way the toilet paper is placed on the roll makes up about 95% of my overall happiness.

When I first met my now husband, I thought hockey was the dumbest sport. Now we have wedding rings made of hockey blades.

I now have more fear…hell has no fury like my wife yelling at me to rinse my dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.

Winner: Realizing that real pants are for suckers! Comfy pants as much as possible or both of us!


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Adam Lambert