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A Regrettable Night You Had

Woke up with one eyebrow!!

I got so smashed that I couldn’t find the bathroom, in my own apartment, and ended up peeing in a pot in the kitchen 

I went out with my friends downtown and when we went back to my friends apartment for the night I walked into the wrong person’s apartment and took a nap on their couch before my friends finally found me and carried me back upstairs but I left my purse in the strangers apartment and he contacted me after finding my name on Facebook to tell me i left my wallet in his house when i broke in 

I jumped off a boat into the Chicago River by the Michigan Avenue Bridge on a dare 

It was my freshman year and my birthday weekend when my best friends since I was three came to visit we partied drank had a wild night and once we wanted to call it a night we decided to order some pizza and he gave me his credit card and I ordered enough pizza for the entire floor of my dorm

In college, on Halloween, my friend was dressed like an Oompa Loompa from Willy Wonka. I had a few too many and ran around the party telling people to hide their phones and wallets because she was going to dip them in chocolate 

We drank so much at Munich’s hofbrauhous. Got kicked out of our hotel and chased down the street with a taser. Lost out friends and couldn’t communicate in German to anyone because we were too drunk

I woke up with potato salad in my hair was so confused ..had to go to work the next day and potatoe salad all over the inside of my windshield .. Had to go to the gas station to actually use a squeegee on the inside instead of outside of my window shield

I once got so drunk at a party in March started calling all my friends at 3AM singing “All I want for Christmas is you”. But one of those calls was my momm and boss

After many drinks after hours of work at PFChangs… moved one of those incredibly heavy Chinese statues, into the mens bathroom in front of the urinals … for the managers to find in morning 

My regrettable party night—21st bday and was given 21 shots in 45 min. Ended up in the ER less 1 pair of shoes to learn that I had gone from totally sober to passing out. Bouncer had carried me to cab with friends

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