Blog Archives

You Were So Drunk.. You Did What?

I thought I peed myself when I stepped in the bathroom and whipped out bc the lady upstairs flooded my bathroom. But I thought it was me! I had tequila with a straw 🙂 I’m 30 I’m 35 and drink too many beers at the Cubs game and took a selfie with the CFO of my company I’m 35 (and …

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What Should Whip Do On His Birthday?

Since he loves pizza so much, he should stop by the museum of pizza that just opened on Roosevelt and Clark in south loop for a quick look Sit on ur front porch and yell at the kids to get off your lawn Feeding ducks in full old man clothes a la grumpy old men Early bird special at IHOP …

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Best Dating Advice You Were Given

Show you’re vulnerability Don’t listen to anybody else, follow your own instincts! If you’re putting in more than you’re getting, it’s time to move on You can’t be happy in a relationship until you’re happy by yourself If they have trouble keeping a job now, it will not get better in the future!! Avoid men who constantly quote movies. They’ll …

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What Was Your Crazy Jealous Moment?

After having a baby I was convinced my husband was having an affair with somebody he worked with and had a whole nother family I didn’t know about Collected all old letters, cards, etc & piled them on hood of his car & set it on fire I walked up to him and bit him on the cheek while he …

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Where Should Melissa Go Out On A Date With Dan-Brad?

Apple picking Date idea… go to a cooking class! City kayak tour; Boat tour of city Date! Ravinia! Music talking fav foods! Mini golf or black light bowling Send them to a Costco. Think of all those samples they put out. Melissa loves free stuff. Horse carriage ride followed by dinner Ping pong at SPiN!! Top Golf Pizza tasting tour …

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What Dating Advice Are You Tired Of Hearing?

Just be yourself. Don’t wear gym shoes and tee shirt. I’m tired of hearing “just leave him”. Go to church. Don’t have sex with him you know it won’t work out. I was told I had to be more girly, I have always been a tomboy and had two exes actually tell me that I should dress more girly and …

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What Was The Strangest Question You Were Asked On A Date?

In what position do you want to conceive our child? On a date I was asked what are my favorite x-rated video categories. I went on a date with my high school boyfriend out on his boat. He had to leave to go to football practice, so his dad took me home. His dad asked me what my GPA was….my …

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Bad Tattoos

I’m a teacher and i have bright pink ballet slippers on my right shoulder blade I have “HU$TLER” tattooed on the inside of my lower lip – to be fair, it was a bet and my friends paid for it I have crash bandicoot on my left arm, I thought people would think it was childish but it gets more …

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Dating Rule!

I won’t date a guy with a smaller ass then mine Beware of guys with hats on pictures Cant have dark hair! I always follow the rule: don’t even try it never pans out Don’t take her to Subway for your first date If you can’t picture yourself waking up to them for the rest of your life. Don’t go …

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What Shocked You?

Lake Cook Road” is the boundary of Lake County and Cook County… who knew! My dad gave blood blood 40 times and as a result he has saved 120 lives. How much student debt I’m in. That ponies are not baby horses. Bret Michaels daughter an SI swimsuit model. On maps Greenland looks as big as Africa. In real life …

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