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Text Topic of the Day


Your Office Gossip   September 12, 2019

Gossip that the new girl is sleeping with our boss  The current gossip at our work is that our boss is pregnant  Some positive gossip: the strong rumor going around is that the managing partner at my firm is giving every employee and their fa …

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Your Goals   September 9, 2019

Goal: spend a year by the beach and write a book. The book would either be biographical fiction or a parenting inspirational book Become a realtor, and take over Chicago west suburb market I would love to be a pornstar  10 years ago i told my wife …

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Someone Shared Your Secret   September 6, 2019

My future cousin in law who I was friends with told me all the details of my SURPRISE wedding shower. Why, idk…So I had to act surprised. Although I totally knew My mother told my son’s father that I named our child after my ex-boyfriend Being tagged …

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You Once Thought   September 3, 2019

I wants thought that no matter what direction I was facing it would always be north I thought Washington DC was in Washington State When I was a kid I thought turn signals turned on by themselves and knew where you were going1 I thought that the band w …

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My Boss Is An Idiot   August 19, 2019

I once got in trouble for not telling my boss that I sent him an email Paints her nails at her desk She was giving me my yearly evaluation and said to me”I’m not even sure what you do” When my boss’ boss asks him a question, He immediately looks at one …

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What Are You & Your Partner Complaining About?   August 12, 2019

TOO. MUCH. POKÉMON. GO. He takes too long to poop! We can never agree what to watch on Netflix! So we usually end up watching 2 shows in 2 separate rooms! Always calling me weird made up names like cheeksen, short legs, gobble and then, or cheeks and b …

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What’s Stressing You Out At Work?   July 24, 2019

The fact that there is a bird attacking a bug in front of my window at work and the bug is screeching Working with my ex fiancé everyday!!! Ugh I’m stressed out by my office mate constantly sighing like she’s exasperated My boss eating KFC at her desk …

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Best Romance Advice You’ve Been Given   July 22, 2019

I was told in 6th grade to spell your name while French kissing Do the alphabet on her Using Diet Coke as a liquid spermicide! You need a straw! Kiss the pelvic bone / hip automatically turns women on My step dad told my now husband a perfect park benc …

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What Happened To You In Vegas?   July 17, 2019

Lance Bass cried on my shoulder I saw a pregnant nun with her boobs out  I got yelled at by a wizard  I had to carry my drunk wife from tao nightclub back to the hotel and I almost fist fight with one of the hotel security guys who was checki …

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You Heard What?   July 16, 2019

I heard Mountain Dew lowers sperm count I heard if you cross your eyes, your eyes will stay crossed. I never tried because i was scared they would stay that way I heard that eating the crust of a sandwich gives you curly hair  I was told by a high …

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What You Miss About College   June 26, 2019

The night life and dating  Never having to pay for beer at a party (because frats, duh)  The wild women  Being able to go out on a Tuesday night and not deal with a crowd  Setting my own curfew  Scheduling classes around naps T …

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Unsexy Things   June 25, 2019

Change diapers! Forget to shave When his fingers smell like fish (he’s a fisherman)  Mis-pronouncing words?  Waking up with morning breath & farting Dirt in nails  From a breastfeeding mom: When my husband washes my “pump parts” …

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Your Company Has Lost It   June 19, 2019

I was eliminated from my position because I didn’t know where my coworker went after she left  They had to hold a meeting for all the men about not peeing on the toilet seat and floor and not cleaning it up To cut costs my company started limiting …

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Strange Fantasies   June 10, 2019

I always think about what neon color my G wagon would be if I won the lottery. It’s really hard to pick  Running away to be a bartender in key west Winning the lottery and with the money I’d work my way to my lifelong dream of becoming and actress …

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I Blame My Parents For…   June 6, 2019

I blame my parents for raising me in a cult  My stuffed bear obsession  My OCD about my teeth  I blame my mom for never wearing a seat belt  My long skinny toes  My sister and 2/5 grandchildren have shopping problems “I want it …

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You Quit Your Job Because?   June 5, 2019

I worked at a pizza place for 2 days. I quit because we had to slide the order ticket on a wire that crossed over all the ingredients. I couldn’t do it  Hooked up with my boss at the Christmas party and then he made it weird….. I quit my job as …

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What Joke Should Pat McGann Ask At His Show?   May 31, 2019

Have you ever tried to eat a clock before? Its very time consuming What’s Bruce Lee’s favorite drink? WA-TAAAAAA  2 pretzels were walking down the street, one was assaulted/a salted My really uncomfortable poetic joke… Roses are red Candy is swe …

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What About Me Besides My Boobs Does He Really Like?   May 30, 2019

That ass Your Teeth That sweet sweet ass  Your mothering Temperament Her Costco membership Armpits She unclogs the toilet for me She has a lot of money!! Also her eyes change colors depending if we’re outside or inside Her ability to make a mean b …

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FOMO   May 28, 2019

missing my sons first words/laugh due to being at work  Not seeing Twenty One Pilots at Lollapalooza I have fomo about taylor swifts new tour for her new album (that isn’t announced yet). im used to going to multiple tour dates for taylor swift ev …

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I Didn’t Know   May 24, 2019

No idea Elton John sang Benny and the Jets. I thought Benny and the Jets were a band singing about themselves I had no idea how much it cost to take the bus  I never went into a dollar store until the past year when my friend brought me. I had no …

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Man Gossip   May 22, 2019

My friends boyfriend had a sex dream about me when I was pregnant My friend is married and is having an affair with another man Gossip about each other’s beards/facial hair Every Wednesday a customer of mine comes into the bar and says not to say anyth …

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I Was Asked This In My 30s   May 21, 2019

I told the butcher at the grocery store that I just got (re)married and he asked if I can still make babies I had shared my news that I was expecting is and the secretary asked me if my pregnancy was intended Wow, your 20’s must have been rough My frie …

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Quirks Your Learned From Moving In   May 16, 2019

Kept their clipped toenails in a jar on their nightstand  His toothpick obsession!!  They gagged every time they brushed their teeth  I had no idea that she experienced night terrors, including leaping out of bed, pointing to the foot of …

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First Date Question   May 15, 2019

When was the last time you threw up? You like snakes? Are your boobs real? How many people have you slept with What are your red flags?! What Teenage mutant ninja turtle is most like your personality? Have you ever been arrested? So do you like dirty j …

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What Makes You Strange   May 13, 2019

I’ve always wanted to find a body in the woods  I collect skulls and bones  I teach my husband math lessons in my sleep. I dream I’m teaching and sleep talk the lessons to him I can’t stand gum, I won’t touch the packaging, I won’t touch the …

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