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Text Topic of the Day


I Didn’t Know   May 24, 2019

No idea Elton John sang Benny and the Jets. I thought Benny and the Jets were a band singing about themselves I had no idea how much it cost to take the bus  I never went into a dollar store until the past year when my friend brought me. I had no …

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Man Gossip   May 22, 2019

My friends boyfriend had a sex dream about me when I was pregnant My friend is married and is having an affair with another man Gossip about each other’s beards/facial hair Every Wednesday a customer of mine comes into the bar and says not to say anyth …

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I Was Asked This In My 30s   May 21, 2019

I told the butcher at the grocery store that I just got (re)married and he asked if I can still make babies I had shared my news that I was expecting is and the secretary asked me if my pregnancy was intended Wow, your 20’s must have been rough My frie …

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Quirks Your Learned From Moving In   May 16, 2019

Kept their clipped toenails in a jar on their nightstand  His toothpick obsession!!  They gagged every time they brushed their teeth  I had no idea that she experienced night terrors, including leaping out of bed, pointing to the foot of …

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First Date Question   May 15, 2019

When was the last time you threw up? You like snakes? Are your boobs real? How many people have you slept with What are your red flags?! What Teenage mutant ninja turtle is most like your personality? Have you ever been arrested? So do you like dirty j …

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What Makes You Strange   May 13, 2019

I’ve always wanted to find a body in the woods  I collect skulls and bones  I teach my husband math lessons in my sleep. I dream I’m teaching and sleep talk the lessons to him I can’t stand gum, I won’t touch the packaging, I won’t touch the …

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TMI!   May 10, 2019

When I was a teenager I asked my mom about sex. Her answer was the human body is disgusting, don’t ever talk to me about it again! My oldest son told me that the nanny of my best Friend was the bestsex he ever had We taught my mom what the shocker is.. …

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A Fight Between   May 6, 2019

Cardi B and Miley Cyrus  Thanos and Darth Vader  Katy Perry – Taylor Swift  Kelly Clarkson versus Adele  Pink & cardi B Pink and Halsey  Billy Ray Cyrus vs lil nas Carrie underwood and Miranda Lambert  Paul Rudd and a …

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Adulting 101   May 6, 2019

Hardest thing about being an adult is budgeting your money  You are not special  Hardest thing about being an adult: making plans with friends! Constant scheduling conflicts!  Yard work and laundry suck  It is hard to find a job you …

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Your Issues   April 30, 2019

Chafing issues Sinus Issues  Baby momma issues  I have I’m broke issues  I have my dog eating all my underwear issue I have frog issues  I have doormat issues  Feet blister issues Sexual frustration issues Feeling Trapped  …

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What’s The One You’re Not Telling Your Husband?   April 26, 2019

I don’t tell my husband that hes a lousy kisser He has horribly gnarly toes with gross nails I really hate your family. All of them I told my husband straight up that I don’t like the cologne that he loves so much. It reminds me of my uncles and older …

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Your Strange Flirty Texts   April 23, 2019

He told me I might look like a potato but I’m a hot potato and he can handle the heat I’m bold and hot like you. Meet for coffee? I’ll give you an allowance for your time. The guy wanted to get my opinion on something so I said sure shoot whats up. He …

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Random Shower Thoughts!   April 17, 2019

Playing guitar in the rain at an outdoor festival with 50k in attendance Shower thought: How much water I am wasting and what can I do about it Why does bread lose its identity when it becomes toasted now it’s just toast A car is just a moving room wit …

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You Never Want To Hear It On A First Date   April 10, 2019

I take Viagra I forgot my wallet My two passions are magic and Dungeons and dragons He came from a rich family. He took me to his neighborhood and said … you don’t know where you are, do you?? You remind me of my sister Oh you’re a nurse? I think I n …

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Under Pressure   April 8, 2019

One month out of paramedic school and having to deliver a baby in the front seat of a car Awaiting my Illinois bar exam results in front of my entire family and friends while they’re filming First time assisting in LASIK surgery  I was four years …

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Your Failed Rule   April 5, 2019

No fighting over texts  Everyone has to be at every holiday every year  When we get home from work, we put phones in a basket until  Saturday night church!  We’re eating all organic! One big food bill from Whole Foods changed that! …

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You Kids Make You Feel Bad About What?   April 4, 2019

Using plastic straws at home. Reusable only or I hear about it! My 7 yo shames me for drinking pop Ugh… I get shamed for putting too much cream in my coffee!  My son shames me on not knowing anything about Fortnite like playing or any of the lin …

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Weird Fantasy   March 22, 2019

She wanted to sleep with my best friend He wanted me to dress up as and role play a nun He wanted me to fart on him, and told me “the smellier the better”  I had a woman I dated tell me her fantasy was to re-enactment scary horror movie scenes dur …

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Question You Once Got Asked In An Interview   March 20, 2019

How do you make an omelette Interview question: if you had to be a tree what type of tree would you be and why? If there was a movie produced about your life who would play you and why?  I was once asked if I watch Game of Thrones and what episode …

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The Best Toast You’ve Ever Had!   March 18, 2019

May the best of your past be the worst of your future!!! “Heres to you, heres to me, and friends we’ll always be, if not F*ck you heres to me! Here’s to nights that become mornings, and friends that become family “Here’s to tall ships, and small ships, …

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Your Rude Girlfriend Moment   March 11, 2019

When my gf said “I didn’t think a girl your size could pull that off, but you did!” Uhhh….thanks for the compliNOT! One of my “best friends” set me up with one of her friends to date and then was telling him how awful of a person i was and tried ruin …

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You Were Drunk Where?   March 8, 2019

After a long night of drinking I woke up in my best friends sisters sons nursery room I sleeping in his crib  In a field under the power lines in Florida In the hallway of the hotel I was staying at using drapes from the window as a blanket I ende …

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Gross Habits!   March 6, 2019

I like to smell my toenails after i clip them Scratch in my ear and smell it I like the weird smell on earrings when you pull them out your ear I LOVE popping pimples. So much so that I bought a professional blackhead removal kit. I actually stopped cl …

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Your Office Prank   March 5, 2019

One time I put those “pop it” firecrackers under the toilet seat lid. I set it down lightly so the next time someone sat down, it would make a huge bang Put my bosses’ office furniture up for sale on Craigslist and listed his # for people to call and p …

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How Rock Bottom Did It Get?   March 4, 2019

I lost two jobs within a week of each other So my brother hit rock bottom. He is 32 and moved to Arizona. Told us he was working in sales for CDW then in March we lost contact with him. Long story short we didn’t hear from him for 9 months. Parents had …

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