Only God decides when you’re done having children.
You won’t use math much in the future but you will need cursive writing – so practice that.
The tooth fairy takes their teeth and gives them to babies that don’t have teeth… I used to think that every baby with a new tooth is mine…
Worst piece of parental advice – “If you ain’t first, you’re last.”
When I was upset about gaining weight as a kid my mom told me to get fatter friends.
Worst advice EVER! “Hey, let’s get the kids iPhones with unlimited data” Now both our boys are addicted to social media.
My birthday is on July 3rd. When I was little, my parents told me that all the fireworks were the world celebrating my birthday. I believed this until I was 6.
My nemesis in grade school won the “most improved” award in class. My mom proceeded to tell me that was simply an award to prove that they were the worst at the beginning. That was her advice.
“Kids, you tried and failed. The lesson is never try” – Homer Simpson.
Advice: develop a taste for alcohol faster it’s a blessing.
My mother told me not to get too much education, or I’d never get married.
Worst piece of advice from my mother – base your decision upon the answer to the following question “what would the neighbors think?”