My friend likes to eat Durian, a fruit that smells like cat poop.
They think my love for the Cubs is “silly”.
I should break up with my friend cause he constantly calls me at 2 o’clock in the morning to pick him up from a bar and take him to Taco Bell.
My friend still sneezes without covering his mouth! It’s disgusting!!
My friend said she would put in a good word for me at her work, but I found out she did the opposite.
My friend wants to be more than friends but he’s too unattractive. Time to break up.
Because my friend relates everything to science. Every conversation ends with, “science! And that’s why I am right!”
My friend is that guy that encourages everyone to get wasted and then guilts you into one more shot after you’re practically passed out on the floor.
He constantly stares at my boobs and I’m married to his best friend…
She became a nurse. She has her nursing friends over all the time and all they do is bash the other nurses.
My friend gets too emotional over his girlfriend but he has a new one every two weeks, I’m talking tissue boxes and icecream.
I had to break up with a best friend of 10 years because she was encouraging me to cheat on my husband. She has always wanted to be the priority.
He makes fun of Crossfit but doesn’t even work out. Get off the couch fatty.