What do you need to apologize for?

For peeing in the hamper again.

I need to apologize for blaming her for my farts while we sleep

I need to apologize for continuously spending my husband’s money after he told me to stop 🙁 I can’t help it

I need to apologize to my boyfriend for wanting to have sex multiple times a day

I’m sorry that I’m the one who always points out the risk of things. Like the what if? My wife thinks I’m just always being negative. It drives her absolutely crazy.

I need to apologize to my best friend for not telling him that his wife said she was in love with me before they got married.

I need to apologize for apologizing too much.

I need to apologize to my boyfriend for forcing him to watch HGTV and plan fixer-upper projects when we don’t even own a house. I’m obsessed

Insisting that my husband buy a snow blower last fall

I need to apologize for my infamous eye roll

I need to apologize for all the bitmojis and memes I send to make fun of my boss behind his back to my coworkers

I need to apologize to Chicago for being the only good driver in the entire city. Everyone else needs to go back to school.

I need to apologize to my family for letting them think we didn’t order Girl Scout cookies but I have several boxes hidden.

I’m sorry to my wife for letting her think that I buy her flowers every week but when I’m really just taking them from the front reception desk