What do you look for in a boyfriend?

He needs to scratch my back at night

He has to be nice to his mom. Bonus points if he likes dogs.

Has to be able to make a mean grilled cheese sandwich.

He needs to have teeth

He should have a boat

Someone who is willing to do “Butt Stuff”

A hairy chest but not a hairy back!

Must be a Cubs fan!!!

Willing to move to Australia with me if a certain candidate wins

Bigger legs than mine. I can’t stand a man who take his pants off and has two pencils holding his body.

Agility. Men are meant to be athletic. If I throw a ball at you & you can’t catch it, I’m leaving!

The ability to eat food and breath without being loud about it.

I need a sense of security… not money, but actual brawn. Someone messes with me, they gotta deal with HIM!