I only married you because your dad has money you are a bigger witch than your mom
He said he wished my butt was bigger
He said, “I never really liked any of your cats.”
You get hit in a lot (in a surprised tone) I guess it’s because you’re not so hot that you’re intimidating, but you’re not ugly.
We got into a fight while eating at Harry Carey’s restaurant when he refused to do his Harry caray impression
He was looking at my peach fuzz and said “you know if you were a guy you’d have a pretty sick beard
Your sister looks hot today
After pushing a 9 pound baby out of me, he said he was going to go home and take a nap because HE was tired
“Your grad school must be really easy for you to have straight A’s”
Once we were arguing and he said “even my ex I moved thousands of miles away from was as crazy as you.” That took things 0-100 pretty quickly.
My husband and I were watching a bachelor type show and he Side one of the girls was hot and then he looked at me and said sorry honey you’re just cute not hot
He said “You’re Crazy”. Game on, relationship over.
Called me Chewbaca while pulling on the hair on my arm
He told me to “relax”. I did not.
He told me he cheated!