Text Topic of the Day


Bad Tattoos   August 13, 2018

I’m a teacher and i have bright pink ballet slippers on my right shoulder blade I have “HU$TLER” tattooed on the inside of my lower lip – to be fair, it was a bet and my friends paid for it I have crash bandicoot on my left arm, I thought people would …

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Dating Rule!   July 31, 2018

I won’t date a guy with a smaller ass then mine Beware of guys with hats on pictures Cant have dark hair! I always follow the rule: don’t even try it never pans out Don’t take her to Subway for your first date If you can’t picture yourself waking up to …

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What Shocked You?   July 24, 2018

Lake Cook Road” is the boundary of Lake County and Cook County… who knew! My dad gave blood blood 40 times and as a result he has saved 120 lives. How much student debt I’m in. That ponies are not baby horses. Bret Michaels daughter an SI swimsuit mo …

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What Have You Stolen From Work?   July 16, 2018

Time A forklift I stole Teriyaki sauce, couldn’t find it anywhere after I finished it to replace it Individual packets of bio freeze Brand new 4×6 logo mat of the Chicago sky line I took 2 antique chairs from the attic of work. They are in my living ro …

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What Is Your Weird Quirk?   July 10, 2018

I can’t sit in a warm chair that someone just sat in. I like to skip rather than walk. I have to match my underwear to my shirt. I shave the entirety of my beard except my neckbeard. I warm up my ice cream in the microwave so that it’s melted completel …

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Your Crazy Breakup   July 9, 2018

I found out he was cheating on me so I slept with his best friend and took a picture of us laying in bed together and sent it to him with the caption “we’re done”. My boyfriend, turns out, had two girlfriends and we both figured it out on a Saturday ni …

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The Dare You Took   June 28, 2018

Ask out a professor To throw up in a public pool  I took a dare to eat a horsefly for $3  I was dared to go to pharmacy school and now I’ve been a pharmacist for 11 years Lick the poles top to bottom in the airport shuttle. All for twenty dol …

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Before I Got Married…   June 18, 2018

I became more nerdy – I willingly play dungeons & dragons with my husband. I have to wear pants around the house WAY TOO OFTEN. I used to be happy. Get rid of my butterfly collection as she was scared of bugs. Before marriage I was “Iceman” Val Kil …

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The Time You Got Sent Home From Work   June 11, 2018

Came in hung over, and was told I look like I was homeless. I got caught with my daughter in my classroom. I teach high school. She was 5. She still remembers the time we got ‘kicked out of school’. I worked at Chuck E Cheese as a birthday hostess my f …

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Someone Asked You To Do What?   June 5, 2018

Coworker asked me to cut a chunk of her hair out from the roots because she wanted to get DNA testing. A complete stranger asked me to make out in the frame isle at a home goods. A good friend in college once asked me to lend him $120 for freeze dried …

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White Lies You Tell Your Kids   May 24, 2018

Remember, you drank all your post baseball gatorade not me. To my toddlers: if you are loud in the bathtub, the bubbles will all disappear. You have to whisper in the bathtub! It worked for almost 3 years. Have a son, “you get to play with ‘it’ only so …

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What Are You Doing That Drives Your Co-Workers Nuts?   May 21, 2018

Steal all the pens! I constantly bitch about the weather. I sing and dance and am happy on a Monday. Only buy coffee for myself. Knuckle cracking. Tap my nails on touch screen register. I like to chime in on their conversations I yell from a distance.. …

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As A Mom… What’s Your Secret?   May 11, 2018

I smacked a friend’s kid once when he threw a shoe at my face.  I joke all the time that my daughter should marry rich, but I’m serious because she’s not real bright. I found out my son has been picking his nose for god knows how long and puts the …

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What Do You & Your Significant Other Do Behind Closed Doors?   May 10, 2018

My husband let’s me pick the dead skin off the bottom of his feet. I love it!!! We like to only talk in different accents. Eat dinner naked and end in a food fight. We talk to each other through our stuffed animals and give them all voices and names. M …

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Song Of The Summer   May 8, 2018

Feels- Calvin Harris, Katy perry, Pharrell Williams She Twerk by Cash Out  Pompeii – Bastille!  Call Me Maybe! Carly Rae  I kissed a girl summer Katy Perry This summers gonna hurt like a mother f-er (Maroon 5)  Beauty and a Beat by …

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Compliment Whip!   May 7, 2018

His voice has never ages He will make a great grandpa one day Whip seems like the kind of guy who gives genuine product reviews of late night QVC products, and how they changed his life I really like the way Whip really cares so very deeply about the n …

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Lies You Don’t Feel Bad Telling   April 30, 2018

I told my kids the ice cream was spicy. That I had to go into work and could not do anything all day so I could sit home and sleep. I told my husband I lost $40 at the casino….it was really $400. Oops. A first date with a guy texted me two hours befo …

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What Turns You On?   April 26, 2018

Someone who has an amazon prime account. I love big ears. Sweaty hockey players. Their love of Disney. Pregnant women, 7, 8, 9 months. Loud engines in mustangs. By watching supernatural and eating peanut butter in my pajamas and bunny slippers. I’m tur …

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What Is The Sexiest Thing A Guy Has Said To You   April 16, 2018

I can’t wait to power wash your insides. I was told that I’m a decent human being with a great butt. Honey, I cleaned the bathrooms today. My husband told me that I was like bacon because I make everything better. You Taste Like Champagne. Can I buy yo …

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What Would You Tell Your Best Friend…But Not Your Significant Other?   April 12, 2018

OMG my friend knows every guy I slept with if my husband knew the total he would have never married me. Channing Tatum is single!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That I have naughty dreams about my brother-in-law. I can discuss rogue nipple hairs with my bff. We talked a …

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A Lie You Told/Were Told On the First Date   April 9, 2018

I once told a guy that my grandma invented the Shamrock Shake for McDonald’s and that’s why she was so rich. I don’t know what possessed me to make that up. My soon to be husband told me his mother was a chef ….. turns out she cooked for a school. 21 …

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Random Compliment You Received   April 5, 2018

I’ve been complimented for my ability to park in the tightest, hardest to fit spaces. My 11 year old son told me that I make the best instant mashed potatoes. I was once told ” you know, your name is Brittany, and you have blonde hair…but you’re actu …

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Rudest Thing a Female Co-Worker Said To You   April 2, 2018

Woman: I like your dress. Me: thanks! It’s from target. Woman: Yes, I can tell it’s not of quality. Me: blank stare. “You don’t measure up to the guys in my group”. Coming from my woman boss! A coworker pointed at my chest and asked “are those real?” I …

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When I Realized It   March 22, 2018

I noticed in the Nissan commercials when they put their website name up, www.nissanusa.com, that the word anus is in there. I never not see it when their commercials are on now. I noticed that Common looks like Frozone from The Incredibles. He probably …

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The Story of The Weird Guy or Girl You Dated   March 1, 2018

When I was a freshman in college I dated a guy who had piercings everywhere. So many that his nickname was Sponge. My dad met him and the look of horror in his face was something I’ll never forget. I went to Catholic school all of my life and dating Sp …

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